Oh, no, I've got it; I was diagnosed two years ago. I cut my doc's hair every two weeks, and he thought I was a good candidate, and after some research, I had to agree with him. He had me take a few tests, and he was right-o. I started off taking Adderall, which initially seemed like a godsend, but then I got really bitchy, and it turned into a love-hate relationship - I loved that I felt more functional, but I hated how it made me feel, which was either nothing, or bitchy. I started Wellbutrin in Dec. after I discovered some research that noted that it has been useful in treating mild to moderate ADD, and that's been much better; plus it really helps with the neuropathic pain I've had the last few years. It actually makes me a bit more focused than the Adderall did, too, without even a hint of the crankiness.
I also get obsessed with certain things: bright colors, hair, neuroscience, and all social sciences (don't even get me started on the random infatuations of my childhood - Chinese brush painting? For real?). I am finally putting it to good use and am back in school pursuing a psych degree. Plus, if the day ever comes that I can't physically do hair anymore, I will need a backup career that doesn't require coordination, balance, or fine motor skills. I still can't keep track of my pencils or my parking spots, but I have better coping skills than I did in high school, so I am doing alright so far. Thanks for the info, though; I appreciate it. Not only cute and smart, but nice, too? You're a triple threat!
At least the meds work on you. The reason that the 3 therapists that I got as a child didn't give me meds to make focus more was because apparently, I didn't need it. They worked me out through therapy, and I could start passing my classes. Problem was, they didn't fix the whole problem. They just made it so I can only do one task at a time exceptionally good, due to all my focus being on one task. It back-fired on me, so it's very difficult to focus even still. I do good and all, but it is unfortunate that I cannot be to my full capabilities. I never want to blame the ADHD, I blamed myself majority of my life, but that made matters worse. Thing is, it's something that you and I cannot control, as much as we want it. I tried so many methods to make it so I could make my focus problems better, such as:
- To-do lists
- Post-it notes
- Practicing multi-tasking
- Practicing writing with both my right and left hands
- Practicing music (I played the Piano, Violin, and Viola, pre-professionally at Violin and Viola)
- Harsher self-criticism
- Harsher self-discipline (not cutting or anything like that!)
- Making myself challenges (such as, complete all tasks, not just a few)
- Focusing on other things, not just ONE thing (otherwise, I disassociate and lose my train of thought)
- Raise the standards
- Increase my hobbies (gaming, gardening, botany, drawing, music, research, read a book, etc)
- Self-control (which means, looking like I blanked out and talk to myself in my thoughts)
- Thinking things over (back-fired, now I think too much)
- Not obsessing over hobbies (mission failed, challenge proved impossible)
The list could go on. I'm sure you try many of the things I tried!
And good luck to you. By the way, you're very pretty, much prettier than me I think haha. I'm not sure where I stand on the Level of Attractiveness scale, but after telling my husband about the boyfriends and relationship problems I had, he raged and told me, "Look, you have no reason to hate yourself, so why do you?". Fuck if I know, even today. Like I said, messed-up brain chemicals. I cannot appreciate myself as much as I would
love to, especially because I set myself too many standards and I have obsession with trying to perfect everything, but I have more control over that now. It was my parents who were at fault in this, too. They always indirectly told me (myself being an
extremely sensitive person, such as Tchaikovsky), "You aren't good enough, do better, you suck." Hmm, on that thought, they
directly told me those things as well. They were not very supportive. They treated me like a mere child.
I can honestly say, they had no respect for me, and I always debated with them and tried to prove them wrong (that's how my knack for debate came about), but since they were adults and they said they were superior, I would try to stop, but that was stupid.
As I grew up more and more, they finally decided one day to not see a "rebellious" child (HAH! I wasn't, I was a very, very, VERY tame kid), but a more rationalizing type of child. Even then, the insults continued, so, like I gave a shit. It made me very upset; it was emotional abuse to say the
least. I'm just glad I'm out of that house. They were cuckoo, but I still love them, as they love me. It was very hard to cope with two children (it wasn't just me, it's my brother as well) who have ADHD. The other two siblings are fine, which is so relieving to them...
I debated way too much with them, and they would beat me for that, especially my dad. In the end, I win, so it's all good. They are both receiving therapy as we speak. :3
