My brother in law (a very smart and nice guy BTW) is a "gun nut", an NRA member with many firearms. He's had all the training, etc. He also admits that the need to own a lot of guns comes from feelings of insecurity, ie the need to feel safe, not the reality of his life. Much of what I know about "gun owner philosophy" if you will, I learned from conversations with him, and from reading his gun magazines.
One thing he says is that you never pull out a deadly force weapon in a real life scenario unless you are willing to fire it and kill someone. Guns are not to threaten people with, or to show someone to "defuse a dangerous situation". You are assuming the person is not crazy or immature enough to rush at you anyway, or does not have a friend with a baseball bat or knife (or another gun) sneaking up behind you.
Whereas before you might have been in a situation where someone might get hurt, robbed or maybe just insulted, you have now definitely changed the game into life and death. When you introduce a gun into a threatening scenario, you have, by definition, escalated the situation into something far more dangerous.
Self defense and martial arts classes teach the same thing. Real life is not tv. If someone attacks you with fists, try to defend yourself and/or get away. If someone has a gun, try to take them out, because you have to assume that they mean to kill you. The bad guy is thinking the same thing.