RaymondKHessel - We Will Miss You

[jetson]

Drop your favorite quotes in...he deserves a memorial for pure honesty! 

I got 20 bucks that says Old Church Guy has a freezer full of severed heads in his garage or somethin'. I'm on to you OCG! You hear me!? I KNOW WHAT YOU DID!!!

Who the hell is Kyle D Williams? The brother of the black dude from Star Wars?

That depends. You actually believe a single 900 year old dude somehow got 60,000 species of beetle onto a 450 ft wooden boat?

That boy done prayed himself retarded. 

Don't try to take the high ground with me grasshopper. You're the one insinuating it's a-okay to murder little kids such just as long as it's approved by something significantly powerful. 

Thread Title: Which do you value more, and why?

Well, life. Truth doesn't do me a damn bit of good if I'm worm food.

Oh yeah? Wow. That's nice. Sucks your imaginary friend has COMPLETELY FAILED TO PROSPER AND NOT HARM AND GIVE HOPE AND A FUTURE TO LIKE 90% OF ALL HUMANITY FOR THE PAST 2,000 YEARS. You unbelievably dim-witted weirdo.

If somebody is going to sit across from me, and seriously try to convince me that a talking snake (who was really a red, hooved goat man and the incarnation of evil) got a rib lady to eat a wisdom-giving fruit, and THAT is why babies in Africa get devoured by vultures...

You bet your ass I'm going to mock them.

Why? Because, real talk, that's one jaw-droppingly stupid thing to believe.

You're a grown ass adult living in the 21st century. Get a fucking GRIP.

Family circus can suck a dick! That's right! I said it!

Most milquetoast, vanilla, whitebread, balless, unfunny, braindead, mouth-breathing, lowest-common-denominator pandering, football-shaped-head-having, shamelessly MILF agrandizing, infantile-assed, limp-wristed follow-the-footsteps-straight-into-the-mouth-of-mediocrity endorsing pieces of over-fluffed theocratic s**t in the history of Ever.

f**k JEFFY. That's right, f**k that dumb little bastard right in his nostrils!!! 

All that fucking ink stain ever did is take up valuable paper space that would have been infinitely better occupied by a 2nd Calvin & Hobbes.

And yes, thank you 1,000 times for writing something I can read without my lungs trying to punch my heart valves closed. I actually gave you a golf clap.

Oh for the love of f**k. Could you at least make an attempt to write something that doesn't hurt to read?

If you really think ancient desert-wandering, camel-ass smelling Jewish rabbis had some kind of leg up on science over the Roman Empire, you're on some high powered crack my friend.

[plethora]

A few... I will put up a few more later. Ray ... you rocked, guy.

Retardsville. You're the mayor. Wear your sash with pride.

And I swear, impotent gods are the worst kinds lol. STRIKE ME DEAD, JESUS! YOU TAKE DICKS UP THE NOSTRILS!!!!

Still here. One impotent god mocked, and I'm about to head home to enjoy a beer and play some videogames. Ahhhh! I blasphemed the holy spook! I'm doomed forever! But don't cry for me Argentina. If your religion was real, I'd take a thousand hells over bending a knee to the vile child-killing, slavery-endorsing, mysognist homophobe pedophile you call a god.

[Dante]

But no, Yahweh just goes nanners and dramatically displays the single greatest over reaction in the history of popular fiction. Kinda like punching a retarded kitten in the face forever because it chewed on your shoes when you told it not to, in full knowledge that your roomate is the one who soaked your Nikes in Catnip.

I'm gonna miss that wacky dude.

[plethora]

This whole post ...

http://whywontgodhealamputees.com/forums/index.php/topic,17952.msg398851.html#msg398851

Particularly this:

I bet this sounds REALLY compelling if you're already a Christian. Very dramatic in an after-school special kind of way. Especially the part about panting in the bathroom mirror lol. Because everybody knows that great revelations always make you pant in the bathroom mirror. s**t, I've seen it in at least two dozen movies. I do it myself for effect every time I collect on a property in Monopoly. "Baltimore Ave!? TWO HOUSES!? WAHHH!" <runs to the bathroom to pant in mirror>

It makes for very long games... But boy are they *INTENSE*!!!

[jedweber]

What happened to Raymond?

[One Above All]

What happened to Raymond?

http://whywontgodhealamputees.com/forums/index.php/topic,21121.0.html

[jedweber]

^ Wow, that's a shock. Very sad.

Just the other day that I was reading his rants on Hell, i.e.:

I promise you, most of us here know more of the bible than you do. You really should NOT assume that just because we don't believe in space elves, we've never read up on them. That's exactly WHY most of us are not Christians, in fact. Because we actually read the bible in it's entirity and are find it to be.... Lacking. A GOD should have done better.

That you guys can sit there, regurgitating feel-good propaganda and saying "love lovey love love! X luvs u! Y luvs u! Yahweh luvs u more than u can even IMAGINE!! .... Now THAT is insulting. Because with VERY little effort, I can imagine love that doesn't involve TORTURING THE SUPPOSED "LOVED" ONE *FOR ALL ETERNITY!"  And ANY kind of love that doesn't involve eternal torture is better than Yahweh's love. A PEDOPHILES love, is better than Yahweh's love. 

And laughing at his take on the Shroud:

As an aside, personally I've always loved the way Jesus is tenderly cupping his cosmic space junk. Like "No, don't look at my sensitive little holy balls! I've never made love to a woman before so they're totally unkempt, like two chestnuts glued to a porcupine!" 

It's like "Dude, you're dead. Who are you hiding your sack from?" Answer? The tight-assed medieval rubes that were the intended marks in this con. No way you'd sell them on a Jesus shroud that had a giant god-kawk just chillin' there on his thigh. Ya know? And Set forbid you show some buttock. Very considerate of the artist to blur that part out altogether!

R.I.P., dude.

[velkyn]

I think some of the best quotes are already got.  I remember when Ray and I were offering to go to Chicago and see some idiotic preacher who claimed to turn teeth to gold or some other bullshit.  Poor Christian ran away quick after that.  But I did miss not being able to get some pizza. 

[shnozzola]

This whole post ...

http://whywontgodhealamputees.com/forums/index.php/topic,17952.msg398851.html#msg398851

Man, what a great rant.  I can imagine the little black elf in "Bad Santa" spouting that off.   Thank you for everything Ray. 

[Mr. Blackwell]

What, you can't relate? Shiiiii. I genocide all the time.The atheist spirits compell me.

Hell, just last week I went to town on about 13,000 various Mexicans and Eskimos.

I liked to dismember them and then mix and match the pieces. You know... So I can make Meximos.

[Ice Monkey]

That was one funny fuck.  I don't think I've laughed this hard looking at my monitor in... ever.

[Paperbackslave]

Damn.  Obviously I have been gone for a while.

This makes me sad.  He stuck up for me during the DaveDave debacle:

And that s**t he said to the paperback chick was bitchslap worthy where I come from.

And he was always a good read.  Yes, I will miss him.

[on:bread:alone]

i've been gone a while. haven't even really logged in since right after all this happened, but i just saw this thread, and i'm somewhere between hysterical laughter and crying like a sissy. fuck, i miss my boy. truly inspired, and things just haven't felt right since.

but i'm not here for pity. i just rather enjoyed reading all these quotes. brain really was just too wise for his own good. it's too bad there isn't a hell... it would be cool to see him again, even if it were under the pretenses of having the thermostat stuck at 86 and nothing but country music and infomercials on.

anyways, i'll see you all around.