Author Topic: Why do some (most?) people think fun means (exclusively) sex, drugs, and so on?  (Read 98 times)

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Offline One Above All

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Some of my friends (18+) act amazed when I tell them I don't drink, or drugs, or smoke, or have sex with random people (or at all so far, but that's something I haven't told them yet) for shits and giggles, as if the norm was to do the exact opposite. I tell them I like puzzles, (limited) interaction with (specific) people, being alone, playing games, and so on. It's not an age thing, I think, since the friends who agree with me are 18+ as well. Is there something I'm missing here? Is it because they're so dull that they need to be intoxicated to the point where they can't even think anymore in order to be amusing? Are their lives so utterly meaningless that they feel the need to forcefully activate their brains' pleasure centers through drugs, et cetera? Are people getting dumber (think mental retardation levels), or has it "always" been this way? Is it to "be cool"? What exactly is the reasoning here, if any?
The truth is absolute. Life forms are specks of specks (...) of specks of dust in the universe.
Why settle for normal, when you can be so much more? Why settle for something, when you can have everything?
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Offline voodoo child

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Sewing the youthful oats, then we grow out of it.
The classical man is just a bundle of routine, ideas and tradition. If you follow the classical pattern, you are understanding the routine, the tradition, the shadow, you are not understanding yourself. Truth has no path. Truth is living and therefore changing. Bruce lee

Offline One Above All

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Sewing the youthful oats

...What?

then we grow out of it.

Thing is, I, and the friends who agree with me, never got into it in the first place.
The truth is absolute. Life forms are specks of specks (...) of specks of dust in the universe.
Why settle for normal, when you can be so much more? Why settle for something, when you can have everything?
We choose our own gods.

A.K.A.: Blaziken_rjcf/Lucifer/All In One.

Offline Graybeard

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If you accept the propositions
(i)   the purpose of all life on the planet is to procreate.
(ii)   Procreation is a large investment and should be done at the optimum time.
(iii)   To achieve this, the male is always ready, the female, whose investment is 99% is the limiter.
(iv)   Lower life forms (e.g. those that rely on sperm/seed distribution by wind/water, etc) have very few natural limits as the biological investment is low.
(v)   Where there are no distinct sexes, current food supply regulates procreation.
most things are explained[1].

The sexual drive in higher animals is hormonally regulated. When the conditions are right, the hormones flow at higher levels. (Compare the action of adrenaline – we have it all the time but sometimes, when needed, its levels rise.) However, the base level differs in individuals.

The drive leads to the release of endorphins, which is a naturally desired result and that does not look to the consequences.

Old joke:
“Every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm.”
“What are you taking for it?”
“Pepper.”

Funny because it’s true:
During his degree in psychology, a friend strapped up rats to receive an orgasm if they performed a task. The rats would do anything and would do it until exhausted.

This reward system is a natural reaction and is mimicked by some illegal drugs and/or confused in the mind of those who take them[2].

Like many of the higher animals, social animals often create artificial rules to limit their own numbers to ensure that any biological investment is worthwhile for the group, and thus the species, as a whole. These rules are supplementary to the natural rules already in place.

The key question that you ask is
Quote
Is there something I'm missing here?
And the answer is “Yes, yes there is.” It is the fact that nobody else is like you. We are all individuals with different outlooks, experiences and values. We really are all “special snowflakes.”

Nevertheless, none of us can take ourself as the perfect example of the average human, the standard from which all others may be judged. This would be solipsism. It is quite dangerous: writ large it is the greatest attribute of the dictator and fundamentalist:

“I like this so everyone will do it. I don’t like this so nobody will do it.”

However, a degree of solipsism is required, such that your part in contributing to society can be appreciated – it is not possible to be a pure follower and when we see those who are very much followers, e.g. cult members fooled by a charismatic and solipsistic leader, we feel sorry for them and cannot understand why they behave as they do.

A balance has to be struck as the members of society unwittingly, but just as Nature intended, take the heuristic attitude to improving society.

Anyway, I’ll stop now as I seem to be drifting…
 1. I do not think that there are any exceptions to the above but they are only broad outines.
 2. hence we see fetishes arising.
RELIGION, n. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable. Ambrose Bierce

Offline hickdive

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You're an introvert.

If there's one thing extroverts love doing its telling introverts that they are inadequate in some way.
Stupidity, unlike intelligence, has no limits.

Offline Dante

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don't...... have sex

Yeah bro, you're missing something quite extraordinary. Don't get me wrong, it's cool if you're not into casual sex, and I'm not judging you in any way. But sex is one of those things that is nearly unexplainable to someone who's never done it. It must be experienced to be understood. It can be amazing.
Actually it doesn't. One could conceivably be all-powerful but not exceptionally intelligent.

Offline jynnan tonnix

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Sewing the youthful oats, then we grow out of it.

Sowing.

But, yeah, I agree that it's mostly that you are an introvert, and introverts simply do not enjoy a lot of the same things that extroverts do. And being that we are in the minority, the things that appeal to us tend to be seen as somewhat weird to the extroverted population. And since we are all individuals anyway, certain people will always find themselves even more at odds with the majority. Still doesn't mean there's anything wrong with us. Or them, for that matter.

Offline One Above All

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The key question that you ask is
Quote
Is there something I'm missing here?
And the answer is “Yes, yes there is.” It is the fact that nobody else is like you. We are all individuals with different outlooks, experiences and values. We really are all “special snowflakes.”

Since you put "special snowflakes" between quotes, I assume you know that calling everyone "special" makes the term meaningless. However, going wildly off-topic for a second here, how in Jeebus's name did you get the quotes "italicized" like that without use of tags?

Nevertheless, none of us can take ourself as the perfect example of the average human, the standard from which all others may be judged. This would be solipsism. It is quite dangerous: writ large it is the greatest attribute of the dictator and fundamentalist:

“I like this so everyone will do it. I don’t like this so nobody will do it.”

I don't think I'm the perfect example of the average human, nor is anyone else. In fact, I've said before that I should not be used as an average for anything in existence. I stick by that claim.

You're an introvert.

If there's one thing extroverts love doing its telling introverts that they are inadequate in some way.

I've experienced that before. Is it really so difficult to understand that interacting with people leaves me mentally exhausted? I can solve puzzles for hours without slowing down significantly, but people are exhausting. I've tried to have one single day without having to interact with anyone. Got several texts, phone calls (since I didn't answer the texts), and one or two emails. The funny thing is that I told the person who sent me the texts and called me that I was "taking a day off", so to speak. When I put my cellphone in airplane mode, after reminding them of my "day off" status, they called my house directly. When I complained to my brother about this, he said I shouldn't have expected to have a day off.
Next time, which should be in a few weeks, I'll unplug everything that can be used to contact me. If people think I'm dead, so be it. I'll tell them I'm not the following day.

Yeah bro, you're missing something quite extraordinary. Don't get me wrong, it's cool if you're not into casual sex, and I'm not judging you in any way. But sex is one of those things that is nearly unexplainable to someone who's never done it. It must be experienced to be understood. It can be amazing.

I'm not into meaningless sex at all. I don't really care about it. I could die a virgin for all I care. I have spoken about sex with a friend who had had it recently (think days), and he said it wasn't as amazing as everyone else made it out to be. Not that it was bad; just that it wasn't the single best experience in life. Regardless, I aim higher than physical pleasure. If you're still alive in several decades, which is when I believe I'll have achieved at least one of my goals, you'll get the news. Trust me on that.

<snip>
Still doesn't mean there's anything wrong with us. Or them, for that matter.

I disagree with you on the last statement. If losing your faculties, even temporarily, or not being able to breathe properly after running ten meters, or drive under the influence of whatever, thereby risking not only your life, but others', is "fun" for you, you need a psychologist, a psychiatrist, a brain scan, and to be tested for mental retardation, depression, sociopathy, psychopathy, and so on. While I don't understand what's so much fun about interacting with everyone all the time, that behavior doesn't harm oneself or others (if done right, anyway). Drugs, smoking, and getting drunk (not talking about just drinking; I'm talking about actually getting drunk, which seems to be the "fun"/"best" part), however, do. Sex only has the potential to do so, but that's another story.
The truth is absolute. Life forms are specks of specks (...) of specks of dust in the universe.
Why settle for normal, when you can be so much more? Why settle for something, when you can have everything?
We choose our own gods.

A.K.A.: Blaziken_rjcf/Lucifer/All In One.

Offline jynnan tonnix

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I disagree with you on the last statement. If losing your faculties, even temporarily, or not being able to breathe properly after running ten meters, or drive under the influence of whatever, thereby risking not only your life, but others', is "fun" for you, you need a psychologist, a psychiatrist, a brain scan, and to be tested for mental retardation, depression, sociopathy, psychopathy, and so on. While I don't understand what's so much fun about interacting with everyone all the time, that behavior doesn't harm oneself or others (if done right, anyway). Drugs, smoking, and getting drunk (not talking about just drinking; I'm talking about actually getting drunk, which seems to be the "fun"/"best" part), however, do. Sex only has the potential to do so, but that's another story.

I wasn't so much talking about the more extreme behaviors here as just about extroverts in general. Addictive behavior of any sort can definitely be a problem, but, as you say, you are not talking about just drinking, for example, but getting drunk. Unfortunately that does seem to be very common, especially among younger people, because they don't know when to stop. If one drink feels good, five must feel better. I suspect many of them don't actually intend to "get drunk" every time they go out to a bar or club or whatever, but it just gets out of control because they are just not thinking rationally after the first couple of drinks. Plus, for a lot of people, the sense of freedom that comes with suppressed inhibitions is addictive in itself, even at the cost of some nasty hangovers.

Offline One Above All

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I wasn't so much talking about the more extreme behaviors here as just about extroverts in general.

I was talking about extreme behavior, since it's the one I've observed that has me concerned.

Addictive behavior of any sort can definitely be a problem, but, as you say, you are not talking about just drinking, for example, but getting drunk. Unfortunately that does seem to be very common, especially among younger people, because they don't know when to stop.

Like I said in the OP, I don't think age is the issue. The friends who agree with me are the same age as the ones who don't.

If one drink feels good, five must feel better.

And that logic is why I suspect they're idiots.

I suspect many of them don't actually intend to "get drunk" every time they go out to a bar or club or whatever, but it just gets out of control because they are just not thinking rationally after the first couple of drinks.

That was actually some of my friends' goal. They said so when they invited me. I politely declined, for obvious reasons.

Plus, for a lot of people, the sense of freedom that comes with suppressed inhibitions is addictive in itself, even at the cost of some nasty hangovers.

Addiction is something I can understand.
The truth is absolute. Life forms are specks of specks (...) of specks of dust in the universe.
Why settle for normal, when you can be so much more? Why settle for something, when you can have everything?
We choose our own gods.

A.K.A.: Blaziken_rjcf/Lucifer/All In One.

Offline Graybeard

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Since you put "special snowflakes" between quotes, I assume you know that calling everyone "special" makes the term meaningless.
Well, no. There has never been two people the same on the planet and there never will be: a few have come close, but none have made it.
Quote
However, going wildly off-topic for a second here, how in Jeebus's name did you get the quotes "italicized" like that without use of tags?
I suspect that it is because the reply was written first in MSWord with auto italicised quotes. "this is written in this WWGHA text box" “this is written in MSWord”
RELIGION, n. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable. Ambrose Bierce

Offline voodoo child

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Oops, sow, sew, how one letter can change the meaning, or a big …What?

I wish I acted more like my younger brother, although I saw much more of the world. He had a 25 year long party.  I used to tell him, are ya done yet?  Sowing that is.. With my accent, it sounds like sewing. So naturally I would spell it that way with no regard to the reader. 
 :-[
The classical man is just a bundle of routine, ideas and tradition. If you follow the classical pattern, you are understanding the routine, the tradition, the shadow, you are not understanding yourself. Truth has no path. Truth is living and therefore changing. Bruce lee

Offline jynnan tonnix

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Oops, sow, sew, how one letter can change the meaning, or a big …What?

I wish I acted more like my younger brother, although I saw much more of the world. He had a 25 year long party.  I used to tell him, are ya done yet?  Sowing that is.. With my accent, it sounds like sewing. So naturally I would spell it that way with no regard to the reader. 
 :-[

It sounds the same no matter the accent, I think. I've never come across anyone who pronounces them differently (though I don't suppose I've heard everyone I know say both words). Easy mistake to make. The only reason I corrected it was because OAA didn't seem familiar with the expression.