I can imagine that must have been a pretty scary way to grow up!
Probably less than you think, honestly. It was my idea of normal - dad had an unpredictable temper, but he didn't get violent very often - four or five times that I can recall. We all just learned to gauge his temper by his facial expressions and behavior - imperfect, but the best tool we had - and adjusted ourselves in the way that made each of us individually less likely to be a target. He was a mean fucker, mean in ways that are hard to explain. Any display of weakness or hurt feelings had the potential to become a weapon in his hands. That part really sucked.
I take it he and your mother didn't stay together?
No, they didn't. They separated and divorced when I was a teenager.
I can't say I blame you on that later. I think that's understandable and not weird at all given the circumstances!
There's no question that my life is better when he isn't part of it. Hell, I'm
better when he is absent. It was kind of hard to explain to my kids as I slowly pushed him entirely out of our lives, and they only came to really get it enough as they became adults themselves.