Author Topic: Recovery long term theist  (Read 143 times)

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Offline neopagan

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Recovery long term theist
« on: May 17, 2013, 08:15:10 PM »
I've been lurking about here for months reading and dare I say learning, so I finally took the leap and joined.  Thanks to all of you for your insights - it's truly been enlightening, in a non-theistic way!

I grew up in aso. baptist home and raised my hand for jeezus at a young age, hoping to avoid hell and all that glop.  For 36 years I was a "good xian."  I taught some sunday school classes, went to bible studies, read my bible in spurts and tended to pray at least once a day - never for amputees though.  I guess I didn't believe after all...

Finally, I confronted the doubts I'd had over the years but had just chosen to ignore, thanks to the religious kool-aid that kept me quiet.  I even enjoyed reading apologetics - although I stayed away from online battles.

Finally, I dove into the questions and it's amazing how clear things become when you realize what a scam the whole thing is.  I won't belabor the point, but I'm done with it all and am fully agnostic atheistic.  The tipping point was Genesis - whoah! and the lunacy of the 4 gospels.

I'm still living a bit of a lie - I'm in the closet, as far as my family goes.  My wife is a big time believer and to even question things is a major "lack of faith" so I'm just staying out of that horrible battle.  It won't end well. 

Thanks again for all your support - you post logical, helpful info and it really lifts me up when I wander back home sunday afternoon after nearly biting my tongue off sitting through another church service.
I'm sitting next to you in church every Sunday laughing inside at the nonsense.  Yeah, I'm a fraud, but you worship one.  - neopagan

If xian hell really exists, the smell of the burning flesh of billions of us should be a constant and putrid reminder to you xians how loving your god is.  - neopagan

Offline Nick

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Re: Recovery long term theist
« Reply #1 on: May 17, 2013, 08:21:11 PM »
Welcome Neopagan,

How did you find us?
Yo, put that in your pipe and smoke it.  Quit ragging on my Lord.

Tide goes in, tide goes out !!!

Offline neopagan

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Re: Recovery long term theist
« Reply #2 on: May 17, 2013, 08:26:19 PM »
Thanks, Nick. 

I somehow ended up watching nonstampcollector videos on youtube and I think there was a link somewhere for good sites with similar issues.  <=== best as I can recall, I was gobbling up lots of stuff when the jeezusfog cleared
I'm sitting next to you in church every Sunday laughing inside at the nonsense.  Yeah, I'm a fraud, but you worship one.  - neopagan

If xian hell really exists, the smell of the burning flesh of billions of us should be a constant and putrid reminder to you xians how loving your god is.  - neopagan

Online The Gawd

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Re: Recovery long term theist
« Reply #3 on: May 17, 2013, 08:39:12 PM »
Welcome aboard Neo... I am glad you chose the green pill (or was it the red one?)
the important part is you realized there is no spoon. Good luck with youre family situation, I know it is likely difficult... perhaps you could slowly withdraw from the religious stuff so by the time they realize whats going on its already obvious. Perhaps she even has doubts and is over compensating? I dont know...

Offline kin hell

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Re: Recovery long term theist
« Reply #4 on: May 17, 2013, 08:41:54 PM »
greetings fellow earthling


Glad to hear your rationality defeated your indoctrination. Not the easiest of paths.

Re: home/married life, how do you keep your internet atheist interest closeted?
Don't get me wrong, I understand the absolute pointlessness of burning down your house with heated disagreements over faith/belief. You are very much not alone here in that quandary, but do you delete all net history  ...every time?

Just saying accidental exposure might be as problematic as deliberately raising the subject.


"...but on a lighter note, demons were driven from a pig today in Gloucester."  Bill Bailey

all edits are for spelling or grammar unless specified otherwise

Offline neopagan

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Re: Recovery long term theist
« Reply #5 on: May 17, 2013, 08:55:01 PM »
thanks the Gawd - I chose the IV drip.  It went right to the bloodstream quicker.  As for the wife, no doubts since she never questions it.  She was raised catholic and had her doubts, but like a good baptist I showed her the light <sigh>. now that light burns brightly and jeezus helps with everything from stopped up toilets to healing colds at our house, although he points me to the plunger and snot rags... :)

kin hell - firefox private browsing setting is a nice tool for those of us hiding amongst the hangers and dirty laundry. My greatest concern is the stash of atheistic kindle titles I have... but that device is "too complicated" for her to pick up LOL. 

I'm sitting next to you in church every Sunday laughing inside at the nonsense.  Yeah, I'm a fraud, but you worship one.  - neopagan

If xian hell really exists, the smell of the burning flesh of billions of us should be a constant and putrid reminder to you xians how loving your god is.  - neopagan

Offline kin hell

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Re: Recovery long term theist
« Reply #6 on: May 17, 2013, 09:24:18 PM »
My greatest concern is the stash of atheistic kindle titles I have


Behold, all you who kindle a fire, who equip yourselves with burning torches! Walk by the light of your fire, and by the torches that you have kindled! This you have from my hand: you shall lie down in torment.  Isaiah 50:11

remarkably ambiguous verse now that I look at it  ;)
"...but on a lighter note, demons were driven from a pig today in Gloucester."  Bill Bailey

all edits are for spelling or grammar unless specified otherwise

Offline neopagan

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Re: Recovery long term theist
« Reply #7 on: May 17, 2013, 09:28:46 PM »
kin hell - why do I have a feeling my wife will be quoting me such a verse one day? :)

Or pointing out how to kindle means to start a fire... in the soul that will consummate in eternal damnation, or some such rot?  Actually, she is not an evil gal, just so far entrenched in the bible nonsense I cannot communicate with her about it. 

Doesn't help I'm in the bible belt and surrounded by these folks... 
I'm sitting next to you in church every Sunday laughing inside at the nonsense.  Yeah, I'm a fraud, but you worship one.  - neopagan

If xian hell really exists, the smell of the burning flesh of billions of us should be a constant and putrid reminder to you xians how loving your god is.  - neopagan

Offline kin hell

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Re: Recovery long term theist
« Reply #8 on: May 17, 2013, 09:39:40 PM »
just stay safe neopagan
"...but on a lighter note, demons were driven from a pig today in Gloucester."  Bill Bailey

all edits are for spelling or grammar unless specified otherwise

Offline pianodwarf

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Re: Recovery long term theist
« Reply #9 on: May 18, 2013, 06:11:03 AM »
Hi, neopagan, welcome to WWGHA.  I'm glad to hear that you've found discussion here helpful to you.  There are a number of people here who have had to deal with the "coming out" aspect of being an atheist, so I hope that they'll be helpful to you with that as well.
[On how kangaroos could have gotten back to Australia after the flood]:  Don't kangaroos skip along the surface of the water? --Kenn

Offline Chronos

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Re: Recovery long term theist
« Reply #10 on: May 18, 2013, 07:08:49 AM »
Welcome!

I grew up in aso. baptist home ...

What is "aso. baptist"?


I'm still living a bit of a lie - I'm in the closet, as far as my family goes.  My wife is a big time believer and to even question things is a major "lack of faith" so I'm just staying out of that horrible battle.  It won't end well.

It's not easy to live among the brainwashed. It is an untreatable illness.

@chronosft / 15 till 3 / Faith is nothing more than hope with a gambling addiction

Offline neopagan

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Re: Recovery long term theist
« Reply #11 on: May 18, 2013, 07:57:56 AM »
thanks again.

"aso. baptist" would be a typo for "a so. baptist" aka a southern baptist.  sorry
I'm sitting next to you in church every Sunday laughing inside at the nonsense.  Yeah, I'm a fraud, but you worship one.  - neopagan

If xian hell really exists, the smell of the burning flesh of billions of us should be a constant and putrid reminder to you xians how loving your god is.  - neopagan

Offline Chronos

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Re: Recovery long term theist
« Reply #12 on: May 18, 2013, 08:08:16 AM »
Ah, okay.

When I first read it I thought you were still being all polite and Christian-like in referring to "asshole" baptists, but of course that's just me projecting ...

@chronosft / 15 till 3 / Faith is nothing more than hope with a gambling addiction

Offline neopagan

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Re: Recovery long term theist
« Reply #13 on: May 18, 2013, 08:33:09 AM »
Chronos, that is usually what I am chanting under my breath all durjng church services now...
I'm sitting next to you in church every Sunday laughing inside at the nonsense.  Yeah, I'm a fraud, but you worship one.  - neopagan

If xian hell really exists, the smell of the burning flesh of billions of us should be a constant and putrid reminder to you xians how loving your god is.  - neopagan

Offline shnozzola

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Re: Recovery long term theist
« Reply #14 on: May 18, 2013, 09:12:08 AM »
Welcome Neopagan,
            It's such a weird feeling.  My parents church I grew up in does alot of good things - resettling refugee families, raising money with 5k runs for a family that had lost a father in Iraq, or giving gardening classes, etc.  And I still like christmas.  I  like when a sermon makes people squirm for our absolute obsession with wealth.  So yes, I can visit and feel my own huge  hypocrisy, sitting in the pew believing that no deity has ever existed. 

Edit - churches should also be raising money for Iraqi families that lost fathers to U.S. bullets.
« Last Edit: May 18, 2013, 09:16:24 AM by shnozzola »
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Offline neopagan

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Re: Recovery long term theist
« Reply #15 on: May 18, 2013, 10:51:00 AM »
shnozzola - the church I "attend" does a lot of good for folks as wel (and a lot of bad, if I'm honest)l, but it's the scale of BS they spend money on that irks me.  It's a pretty wealthy church - lots of multi media, a rock show sing a thon,  pastors stashed in every corner of the sanctuary to save your soul, and I'm a million miles away while I sit there with my pasted on grin. 

I don't give them a penny, other than to register my kids for this or that camp, swim party, etc.  I still help out on a team that goes directly to widows, single moms and such to help them out with yard work, house repairs and the like but I don't use that as a means to "spread the word" for sure.   One homebound old lady sent a thank you note once that said how we were god's hands or some such nonsense.  I thought if god wanted to help, being omni-everything and all, he wouldn't need my freaking hands - especially the hands of this godless sinner - LOL.

I'm sitting next to you in church every Sunday laughing inside at the nonsense.  Yeah, I'm a fraud, but you worship one.  - neopagan

If xian hell really exists, the smell of the burning flesh of billions of us should be a constant and putrid reminder to you xians how loving your god is.  - neopagan