Welcome to the forum
This is a great place to get a handle on one's thinking and reasoning process! One apparent (and eventually, meaningless) downside to this is people will challenge your thinking and reasoning processes. As unpleasant as that can be, it is a very important and valuable process. Having a certain clarity of mind only makes one less easily confused, more confident, and more resilient. If you know what you are, that's good enough. That's as good as it gets, in spite of theistic claims that some god must tell you who and what you are (by implication, a god can't be wrong).
I identify myself as a 'nontheist', a transparent attempt to avoid the baggage of being called an 'atheist'. It doesn't really work, but I know I am just not a theist. I think it is possible for a god to exist, but that the probability
of a Christian Bible god existing is approaching nil. I don't claim gods can't or don't exist because I don't make claims I can't support (well, knowingly). I conduct my life as if no Christian Bible god or Jesus exists, and include all other gods from all other traditions.
Atheism can be called 'hard' or 'soft', the former being those making the positive claim that no gods exist, while the latter make no claim either way and live their lives without god bothering. Most atheists fall into the latter camp, and are often called 'agnostic atheists'. I think all these special designations and parsings and semantics are a bunch of shit, and more about theists making straw men (a kind of logical fallacy) to knock over. This can go in both directions, we can make straw man fallacies about Christians, too. As you can see, being able to NOTICE these logical errors is good for one's critical thinking skills, which is a vital survival skill in the modern world.