Cmon Dominic, your initial premise was interesting, but you lose credibility when you don't reasonably respond to others who are giving you the respect of meaningful and reasonable replies. It would be a major break through for you if you could just once try to see the logic of an answer, before giving a "knee jerk" response which is undefendable.
Read my thread on synergy and the difficulty of discovering what you only suspect might exist. Kind of like you are doing here. They will probably "Eat My Lunch" because I have to respond to their logical answers with respect and I'm really just "fishing around" to understand better what is a subjective reality that is true for me." You have to be willing to be wrong or at least admit you dont have any objective evidence for what you are positing over.
You have to play by the rules. If God is who you think he is, he should give you some guidance on how to deal with a dificult premise that is subjective, but real for you.
But don't pull stuff out of the dark place and expect not to get called on it.