Author Topic: Would you risk family relationships just to be right?  (Read 13312 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Agga

  • Fellow
  • *******
  • Posts: 4290
  • Darwins +27/-42
  • The Forum is made of its members.
Re: Would you risk family relationships just to be right?
« Reply #261 on: April 06, 2010, 09:58:38 PM »
I would like to follow Agga's advice, but if we all do that, then the issue will just end up coming up again later on.
Remember the words of Sarah Connor.  No, wait, I mean John Connor (the future one).  But hang on... he only knew the words because his mother told him when he was a boy.
No, hold on again, she only knew the words because JC from the future told Kyle Reese to tell her in 1984.

Uh oh... I appear to have wandered into a time-loop that will never end unless I stop asking the question.
I've left WWGHA now, so do everyone else a favour and don't bother replying to my old posts and necromancing my threads.

Offline Agga

  • Fellow
  • *******
  • Posts: 4290
  • Darwins +27/-42
  • The Forum is made of its members.
Re: Would you risk family relationships just to be right?
« Reply #262 on: April 06, 2010, 10:08:59 PM »
Much like investing in PALM or ACUS. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but instead I will just walk away.
Precisely like that, 007.  In the hope of future security we can invest and invest in today.  Sometimes, though, we find that we've spent twenty years throwing good money after bad and got nothing for our trouble but a hidden deficit that we hadn’t accounted for.
I've left WWGHA now, so do everyone else a favour and don't bother replying to my old posts and necromancing my threads.

Offline Gnu Ordure

  • Fellow
  • *******
  • Posts: 3797
  • Darwins +102/-9
  • Gender: Male
  • I am a Forum Guide.
Re: Would you risk family relationships just to be right?
« Reply #263 on: April 07, 2010, 01:49:26 PM »
A25:
Quote
Gnu, this is a really counterproductive thing to be doing here.
If you mean the silly 'bet' comments, then OK, sorry, those were unnecessary.

I still think the question of whether StarStuff has broken the rules by stonewalling and dodging is best settled by the mods, rather than Azdgari and I trying to persuade each other. Presumably he agrees with me as he has made the report, so there's no need for us to continue the discussion here. Hopefully the verdict wil be accepted by all concerned - and apologies made if appropriate.

Quote
I am working with staff to resolve this situation.
I'll leave you to it, then.


Azdgari, are you happy to leave it there? I hope you understand why I suggested using the Report button. If there's anything specific you want me to reply to from your recent posts, let me know (I wouldn't want you to think I was dodging!). If not, I think we should let the mods handle it now.

Same applies to you, Screwtape. I appreciate you may wish to reply to my last post, which is fair enough. I'll try not to reply.

Gnu.
« Last Edit: April 07, 2010, 01:52:37 PM by Gnu Ordure »

Offline Azdgari

  • Laureate
  • *********
  • Posts: 11982
  • Darwins +251/-31
  • Gender: Male
Re: Would you risk family relationships just to be right?
« Reply #264 on: April 07, 2010, 01:57:34 PM »
Well frankly, all I want out of the whole ordeal is for the dodged points to be addressed.
Unless you are Scarlett Johansason or something.  lol  i'd like to punish her with  my baby.  lol

Online screwtape

  • The Great Red Dragon
  • Administrator
  • *******
  • Posts: 11505
  • Darwins +560/-22
  • Gender: Male
  • Karma mooch
Re: Would you risk family relationships just to be right?
« Reply #265 on: April 07, 2010, 06:20:02 PM »
Gnu, your post 247 was bullshit.  I considered a longer response, going through the details, showing exactly why it was bullshit.  But this is all I can muster at this point.  My argument is not with you. 


Links:
Rules
Guides & Tutorials

What's true is already so. Owning up to it does not make it worse.

Offline Azdgari

  • Laureate
  • *********
  • Posts: 11982
  • Darwins +251/-31
  • Gender: Male
Re: Would you risk family relationships just to be right?
« Reply #266 on: April 07, 2010, 06:22:35 PM »
^^ I think we can safely say, what with that and his "bet-the-mod" post, that Gnu's mediator-act is insincere.
Unless you are Scarlett Johansason or something.  lol  i'd like to punish her with  my baby.  lol

Offline Operator_011

  • Fellow
  • *******
  • Posts: 2646
  • Darwins +17/-1
Re: Would you risk family relationships just to be right?
« Reply #267 on: April 07, 2010, 06:48:54 PM »
**ONE TIME ONLY SPECIAL OFFER**


Anyone who allows this thread to die its long overdue death will receive, via PM[1], their choice from the following pictures:

1) Me wearing a Batman's outfit, red hold-up stockings and high-heels
2) Me wearing a gorilla's costume, a bow-tie and a pair of army boots
3) Me wearing a burkha, a snorkel and a pair of fluorescent green flippers

Get em while they're hot as there's a limited supply.

Your faithful servant


Eleven.
 1. After a full week of the thread seeing no activity
Former Moderator Account

Offline SpineOfSteel

  • Graduate
  • ****
  • Posts: 260
  • Darwins +0/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • I am star dust.
Re: Would you risk family relationships just to be right?
« Reply #268 on: April 07, 2010, 07:06:34 PM »
**ONE TIME ONLY SPECIAL OFFER**


Anyone who allows this thread to die its long overdue death will receive, via PM[1], their choice from the following pictures:

1) Me wearing a Batman's outfit, red hold-up stockings and high-heels
2) Me wearing a gorilla's costume, a bow-tie and a pair of army boots
3) Me wearing a burkha, a snorkel and a pair of fluorescent green flippers

Get em while they're hot as there's a limited supply.

Your faithful servant


Eleven.

 1. After a full week of the thread seeing no activity

I'll take you up on offer 1. :D

Offline Azdgari

  • Laureate
  • *********
  • Posts: 11982
  • Darwins +251/-31
  • Gender: Male
Re: Would you risk family relationships just to be right?
« Reply #269 on: April 07, 2010, 07:10:59 PM »
I'll take you up on #1 as well.  Even if it's not really you, I'll be impressed that you were able to find a convincing pic of that.
Unless you are Scarlett Johansason or something.  lol  i'd like to punish her with  my baby.  lol

Offline L6

  • Postgraduate
  • *****
  • Posts: 813
  • Darwins +0/-0
  • Gender: Male
  • Ignostic
Re: Would you risk family relationships just to be right?
« Reply #270 on: April 08, 2010, 09:56:16 PM »
I come back after a busy week and the thread is twice as long as before. Sorry for anyone who cared, but I'm not even going to bother reading the rest. If it's important, it'll come up again, perhaps more civilly.

Edit: If anyone is still upset over being called a spineless coward, I take it back. Happy?
« Last Edit: April 08, 2010, 10:11:28 PM by L6 »
God's existence is contingent upon the illusion that morality is dictated by religious authority.

Offline Jessie

  • Graduate
  • ****
  • Posts: 361
  • Darwins +0/-0
  • Gender: Female
  • Sweet mother of Abraham Lincoln!
Re: Would you risk family relationships just to be right?
« Reply #271 on: April 09, 2010, 12:06:34 AM »
I think I’m going to have to agree with everything L6 and Screwtape have said, even though I thought L6’s “spineless cowards” comment was a bit harsh. I understand not wanting to cause distress and hurt feelings to family, especially depending on how much you love and care about them and want to have a healthy relationship with them, but those hurt feelings are not justified and are drenched with bigotry. So if someone reacts badly to their child/niece/nephew/grandchildren being an atheist, it’s not the child’s problem, it is the family’s problem, and they should learn to deal with it. The child should not have to lie for the sake of their family’s feelings (prejudices).

Every family is different, obviously. Some may be open-minded and others might not be opened-minded at all, but I think regardless of how open-minded they are, I think it’s best to be honest, rather than continue to live a lie and carry a heavy burden in order to give your narrow-minded family a false sense of security about who you are, especially when there’s no reason for their need to feel secured anyway. And in reality, no matter how well you think you know your family, you can’t be 100% certain how they’d react. Their reaction might be better than you think.

The fact of the matter is, often times people just don’t understand atheism. The fact that they seem to hate atheists so much is really because they’ve never actually interacted with an atheist before, and have been raised to believe all these negative stereotypes that atheists are just immoral, God-hating heathens, who get sick thrills out of blowing kittens up in microwaves, or something batshit insane like that. They’re just ignorant. By being open and honest, you can show them that these stereotypes are wrong and undeserved. We hate these negative stereotypes, and we hate the fact that we are believed to be hopeless beings with no happiness in our lives by pretty much everyone around us, and because of this bigotry, we are afraid of telling our own family that we share a different viewpoint than them. The irony is the longer we stay in the closet, the more these prejudices are prolonged. Only by speaking up do opinions change. It takes time, sure. Some people are going to take longer to come around than others. Some may never come around. But by just saying, “I’m an atheist,” you have contributed to the cause. Those three words DO make a world of difference. By not saying them, you are doing harm not only to your mental health, but you are doing harm to the change that we so desperately need.

Obviously if you have abusive parents, whether physical or verbal, then it’s best not to say anything. There’s no sense in putting yourself through that. And only tell your family when you think the time is right. Don’t just walk up to them, tap them on the shoulder and say, “Hey, I’m an atheist!!” Try waiting until a religious discussion comes up, or if the “Do you believe in God?” question comes up. I also think it’s best to maybe tell one person at a time, and not wait to tell a bunch of your family members at once. You don’t want to take on a bunch of people at once, especially when it’s your own family. That’s just too emotionally distressing.

Also, I think the next most important thing an atheist should say to their family after they’ve come out of the closet is that they are no different than they were before they told their family the truth. Remind them that you are still the same person you were just three minutes ago before you told them. It might not help in some cases, but I still think it should be mentioned.

I’m sure people didn’t want to this topic discussed any further and I‘m sorry to keep beating a dead horse, but I really wanted to add my two cents in, if not for the OP, then perhaps for someone else who is possibly faced with this difficult decision.
"Two hands working can do more than a
thousand clasped in prayer." – Anonymous
-----
"Properly read, the Bible is the most potent
force for atheism ever conceived." – Isaac Asimov
-----
"The government of the United States is not,
in any sense, founded on the Christian religion." - John Adams