Author Topic: Eve was an afterthought - but did God retrofit Adam?  (Read 14828 times)

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Offline drunken_scot

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Re: Eve was an afterthought - but did God retrofit Adam?
« Reply #29 on: February 20, 2010, 03:42:50 AM »
I'd like to know how did god come up with the female form? Adam was supposedly based on himself but he had never seen a female. How did he decide on hair colour, boob size, height, skin colour? Why did he give her a hole the ideal size and position for Adam to insert his up till then redundant (apart from pissing through) penis if he didn't intend for them to have sex?

Humans have a very low gender dimorphism, so Biblegod could perhaps have based the female form on himself.  He may have had a difficult puberty or experienced some of the unusual side-effects of some drugs.  As for the size compatibility, the stretchiness probably meant that hole tolerance wasn't critical.  Position could have been Biblegod experimenting and being creative, as bonobos are the only other animal to have "face-to-face genital sex"[1].

Offline William

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Re: Eve was an afterthought - but did God retrofit Adam?
« Reply #30 on: February 20, 2010, 06:46:52 PM »
The more I read about religion the more insanely primitive it seems and I just wonder about homo sapiens.  

Velkyn, too right, if only humans would actually read their holy books  :shrug

This particular problem with Adam and Eve could be so easily resolved by a rewrite of just one verse:

"Genesis 2:2  And in the early hours of the morning on the seventh day God's work reached its climax when He created SEX (to enable Genesis 1: 28)  - it was so satisfying, fulfilling and exhausting that even omnipotent God rolled over and slept for most of the seven day."

EDIT: caps and bolded SEX because I can't believe the creation of such a wonderful thing wasn't explicitly mentioned in Genesis - I've spent at least a third of my life thinking about it  :D
« Last Edit: February 21, 2010, 02:09:32 AM by William »
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Offline lectricpharaoh

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Re: Eve was an afterthought - but did God retrofit Adam?
« Reply #31 on: February 21, 2010, 02:26:39 AM »
Mmmm ... maybe they were just hanging there for the joy of scratching an itch  ;D ;D
You might have heard this joke:

Q: Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A: They don't have balls to scratch.

Well, I think God created man with all the equipment, fully functional, but that he designed man's HAND to fit around the "banana."

I see now, so that's where Ray Comfort got his inspiration :D
You know, there's a joke in there about how Comfort describes the banana as perfectly-sized and curved to fit right into the mouth (at least if you turn it the right way)...
The Bible is one of the select few books that is wholly deserving of being burned.
  - Me