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Christianity &Islam &Judaism &Rationals Thomas on 27 Aug 2009 12:56 am

How to irritate an atheist

281 tricks to irritate an atheist

The top 10:

1) Ask them why they are bitter against God.

2) Tell them that if there’s no God, they might as well go out and kill people.

3) Ask them to pray with you.

4) Invite their children to go to church with you.

5) Insist that there is a God, and show them where in the Bible it says so.

6) Hide Chick tracts in clever places around their office.

7) Tell them that the universe is too complex to “just exist,” and must have been created by a God who “just exists.”

8) Make up statistics.

9) End a discussion with “Well, I know you’re smarter than I am, but I know I’m right.”

10) Accuse them of persecuting you.

28 Responses to “How to irritate an atheist”

  1. on 27 Aug 2009 at 3:11 pm 1.Heidi said …

    11) Tell them that you know they really do believe in god, but are pretending not to believe so they can go on a sinfest.

    12) Snidely remark, “I’ll pray for you.”

  2. on 27 Aug 2009 at 5:25 pm 2.Horatio said …

    I have #282

    “Ask them why they feel the need to always talk about God”

  3. on 27 Aug 2009 at 6:34 pm 3.Kim said …

    # 364

    Tell them atheism is “just another religion”.

  4. on 27 Aug 2009 at 7:46 pm 4.Sam said …

    Baptize their children without them knowing it

  5. on 27 Aug 2009 at 8:13 pm 5.Just Some Guy said …

    > 6) Hide Chick tracts in clever places around their office.

    No way, I /love/ those things – they’re the most hilarious comics ever published! Far more amusing than Archie or Richie Rich. They crack me up.

    However I might replace it with

    6) Show them pictures of nonsensical imaginary animals, simultaneously insulting science and demonstrating their ignorance with visual aids.


    13) Bring Kirk Cameron to meeting of grown-ups

  6. on 28 Aug 2009 at 3:29 am 6.Denis Loubet said …

    Man, I once had a Christian pull the old, why aren’t you out there raping and killing question. I asked him if that’s what he would rather be doing if not for the strictures of his god. Rather than lose the point, he replied “Yes.”

    Needless to say, I was somewhat relieved that he remained steadfast in his beliefs.

  7. on 28 Aug 2009 at 7:29 am 7.ParkerFarker said …

    You think you’re so clever.

    My responses:
    1) I’m not bitter against him, I don’t believe in him.

    2) If I wanted to be put in prison for the rest of my life and didn’t care about people’s lives, then I would.

    3) No I’m good.

    4) They’re my children; they can believe in what they want. But if they go to church, it isn’t going to be with you.

    5) The bible is a work of fiction.

    6) Burn them.

    7) Tell you that The universe exists because of the big bang. Or tell you that “god” would be even more complex than the universe if he could create it, but he “just exists”. So why can’t something of lesser complexity (the universe) “just exist”

    8) Tell you they’re made-up

    9) If I’m smarter, I would not what’s best.

    10) Accuse you of the same thing.

  8. on 28 Aug 2009 at 6:18 pm 8.Horatio said …

    Um Parker is was meant to be a ……….ah never mind you never understand.

  9. on 18 Sep 2009 at 12:38 am 9.Christian and Loving It said …

    I pray that we are wrong and you are right! Otherwise, while I am in heaven in eternity (which is an awfully long time) you will be in Hell for eternity (which is an awfully long time). My life is filled with peace and joy in my belief in Christ. He has proven Himself real to me many times and has allowed me to “see” with my own eyes, an angel. He has also allowed me to hear His audible voice (which is pretty scary). I know what Hell will be like and I pray for God to save you souls from such a fate. May He open your eyes and have mercy on you. He loves you even though you deny Him. His arms are open to you and will be up until the last moment of your life. However, you don’t know when that will be, so I wouldn’t wait until then.

  10. on 18 Sep 2009 at 3:31 am 10.Denis Loubet said …

    So what was the hell you saw like? Was it the lake of fire, eternal torture kind of thing?

    Because if it was, then you are in league with a being that would condemn people to eternal torture. I would assume that you would agree with the perfect justice of your god that I DESERVE eternal torture at this moment, were I to suddenly die.

    The idea that you would think such a thing is justice is just one of the reasons I could never be like you.

  11. on 26 Sep 2009 at 10:02 am 11.Linda Haylett said …

    There are many, many reasons why I do not believe that there is a ‘God’. They have all been well debated and documented by other people. However, even if I were to get past all of these reasons The major sticking point I would have is…..

    Every cry of pain, hurt and bewilderment from an abused child at this very moment…in every corner of the world….at the hands of believers and non believers alike form in one anquished question.

    Why do we have to suffer?

    There is no one on this who can even begin to answer this question…please do not even try.

  12. on 26 Sep 2009 at 10:08 am 12.Linda Haylett said …

    Please insert ‘earth’ between ‘this’ and ‘who’

  13. on 26 Sep 2009 at 10:48 am 13.Epi said …

    Without evil there is no good
    Without sadness there is no happiness
    Without sin there would be no suffering
    Man brought sin therfore there is suffering.

  14. on 26 Sep 2009 at 2:47 pm 14.AntiRoss said …

    Epi, I’m sure that seems very profound to you, but none of those four phrases are true.
    One may as well say:
    Without rain there is no sunshine
    Without cold there is no heat
    A lot of suffering is caused without sin, by the way. And what is this ‘man brought sin’ garbage?

  15. on 26 Sep 2009 at 8:47 pm 15.Linda Haylett said …

    Man brought sin so children have to suffer? Instead of spouting such moronic nonsense try opening your heart and soul to the appalling suffering of children here and now.Try to be a person of courage not one who hides behind religious platitudes. Go on I dare you to really live as your own person…you would then be a human of real dignity and worth.

  16. on 26 Sep 2009 at 9:56 pm 16.Epi said …

    Linda you are suffering with a lot of bitterness. I suggest some counseling to deal with your obvious anger rather than referring to others as morons and worthless.

    The mentoring and ministry to children and youth happens to be my life. You might wnat to stop attacking others and start be a part of the solution. But first, seek some help.

  17. on 26 Sep 2009 at 10:53 pm 17.Denis Loubet said …

    Ah, pop-psych, the perfect solution to an argument you can’t address.

    Go on, tell us how the suffering of innocents is merely necessary stage-dressing for our spiritual development.

    I dare you.

  18. on 27 Sep 2009 at 5:52 pm 18.Epi said …

    I’m not sure what stage-dressing might be so I can’t be sure. Sufferng is the result of sin and the actions and/or lack of actions of mankind. Its the reason we all will die.

    No need to dare me I’m more than happy to answer a question if I can. If you or Linda have another answer glad to entertain it.

  19. on 27 Sep 2009 at 9:46 pm 19.AntiRoss said …

    “Suffering is the result of sin” is a platitude.
    A completely mind-numbing one.
    Somewhat like your little poem.
    Only a deluded person could think that suffering is caused by someone eating of forbidden fruit, or original sin, or whatever.
    You’re just mouthing out crap that you were lied to about by other people that pretend to know things that they don’t.

    It also seems to just focus on your own species.

    I don’t see how you have the confidence to “answer a question” when you only peddle out bronze-age explanations for reality.

  20. on 29 Sep 2009 at 4:17 am 20.Denis Loubet said …

    Hurricanes, earthquakes, and other natural disasters are the result of sin? How does that work exactly? Do sins create low pressure areas? Do they tug at subduction zones? What’s the mechanism?

    By stage dressing I’m referring to the millions who suffer in the background. Victims of disease and famine that provide the stage for your facile and self-serving explanations.

  21. on 29 Sep 2009 at 4:21 am 21.Sinot said …

    Linda, Let’s first look at a world where there is God and let say people want to live in the same capacity. To eliminate suffering, He has to remove death first. Then provide unlimited supply of food. Then everyone should have the same of everything no matter they work hard or not, otherwise there will be jealousy (another kind of suffering). You can imagine this has to be a better form of communism. Or you can see that as a robot’s world. If you have all the resources and the might, how would you like the world be?

    On the other hand, if there is no God. What is the whole point about life? For pleasure? Then for person who have no future and are now in suffering, will you allow them to terminate themselves? We all know that they are people who like to lead themselves to miseries, what do we do with them?

    What is life about for you?

  22. on 29 Sep 2009 at 4:41 am 22.Sinot said …

    Denis, I agree that the world will be a better place if there is no natural disaster. But while we can not stop natural disaster, we can move the people from high risk area to low risk area. If we use the trillions the US spent on bailout to build a better world, there should be a lot less victims. At the end, mankind still have to bear part of the blame. For a large part of the suffering we see around us, it is actually caused by our own wrongdoings.

  23. on 29 Sep 2009 at 6:29 am 23.Denis Loubet said …

    But now you’re suggesting that suffering is NOT due to sin, but our own stupidity. Oddly enough, I agree with that completely.

    Your description of the better world in message 21 was interesting. You are suggesting that what we have now is the best of all possible worlds, and that even the all-knowing creator can’t think of a better one.
    Life has no point except the purpose you give it.

    “Allow people to terminate themselves”? I have no right to stop them. I can try to talk them out of it, but ultimately they own their own lives, and can do with those lives as they see fit. I would expect the same courtesy.

  24. on 29 Sep 2009 at 10:30 pm 24.Epi said …


    Your reference to robots is a good example. God loves us and wants us to love Him in return. He doesn’t create robots rather human beings in His image with a free will. Denis makes a good point as well. Our stupidity or our choice to sin brings the human suffering. If men acted as God intended, or in other words loving our neighbor as ourself, the world would be filled with a lot less suffering.

  25. on 30 Sep 2009 at 1:52 am 25.Sinot said …

    Denis, I didn’t intend to say stupidity and I didn’t mean to say the people who are suffering are stupid. They may have not done anything wrong. I wanted to refer to mankind as a whole, if men are selfless and are willing to help the others than there will be less people suffer from natural diasters. On wrongdoing, I meant the selfishness of people and I really think that the world is not supposed to be like what it is had Adam and Eve didn’t sin.

    On your comment about talking some suffering people from terminating themselves. There are a lot of people just don’t care. You are doing the extra step and you must have a value for life higher than just having pleasure (just my simple assumption of the opposite of suffering). Would it be hope or love?

    Epi, yes, loving our neighbour as ourself is something to learn.

  26. on 30 Sep 2009 at 6:16 am 26.Denis Loubet said …

    I hope I didn’t suggest that suffering people were stupid, though many who suffer do suffer at their own hand.

    Religion is in no position to criticize others about selfishness, or usurp the concept of charity as their own exclusive invention. The world would likewise be a better place if everyone knew that being nice was in their best self-interest.

    It is neither hope nor love, though those have their place, it is the knowledge that being kind and generous to those around me makes it more likely that I will receive the same in return. That acting selfishly damages the society that I depend upon for my survival and well-being.

    Are you seriously suggesting that if not for the strictures of your god, you yourself would rather seek nothing but selfish pleasure without regard to consequences?

    If YOU wouldn’t, why would you assume anyone else would?

  27. on 30 Sep 2009 at 9:22 pm 27.AntiRoss said …

    #283 Vacuously make the idiotic claim that mankind is responsible for all suffering.

  28. on 01 Oct 2009 at 2:55 am 28.Sinot said …

    Denis, I am not assuming that at all. Actually, this noble quality make me wonder how human mind works. You said your kindness is upon the likelihood of receiving the same in return. But that’s a probablity. And I also assume you are talking about return from mankind as a whole rather than the particular person you are helping and that’s even more remote. Obviously the act is based on reasons other than cost/reward analysis. What’s inside our side to drive us?

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