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Christianity Johnson on 22 Sep 2008 04:18 am

Billy Graham explains how to read the Bible

In the following article, a reader named Mrs. J.Z. asks Dr. Billy Graham about the Bible:

Reading the Bible — for starters, digest a small amount at a time

Dr. Graham’s answer is predictable:

God gave us the Bible for many reasons, but one of the most important is to tell us the truth — about God, about Jesus Christ, about ourselves, about how God wants us to live, even about the future.

Dr. Graham also suggests:

Don’t feel like you have to master everything all at once. But set aside a few minutes and read a brief portion every day — just a paragraph or two at first.

This seems like an excellent suggestion. Here at WWGHA, we would like to help Mrs. J.Z. and other Christians by pointing out several interesting Bible selections.

You should certainly start with Mark 16:17-18:

And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well.

This makes things so simple: Ask any Christian leader, like Dr. Graham for example, to drink a bottle of Drano. If Dr. Graham won’t drink the Drano, it means he is not a believer, and therefore can be ignored. Of course this means that there are no believers – all Christians in the world today are frauds according to Jesus. They can’t drink poison.

A Christian reading the Bible would also benefit from reading this passage – Matthew 18:7-9. Jesus speaks:

If your hand or your foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life maimed or crippled than to have two hands or two feet and be thrown into eternal fire. And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell.

Anyone with common sense who reads this would realize that Jesus is an unbelievable jerk: “This statement is totally ridiculous on several different levels. First, something like a hand cannot “cause you to sin” — your brain causes “sin.” Every intelligent person knows that. Therefore, gouging your eye out or cutting your hand off is useless. If you have a problem with “sin” and you are going to amputate something to solve it, you would need to amputate your brain, since that is where all “sin” originates.

But if you think about it further, you realize that Jesus has completely missed the actual remedy. If you are having a problem with unproductive behaviors, what you need to do is either educate or rehabilitate yourself. You would do that by talking with a counselor or seeing a therapist. Amputation is an absurd prescription, as every intelligent person knows. Jesus is not only a jerk — he is an idiot. He dispenses advice that is completely useless, and recklessly dangerous as well.”

Christians should also read Mark 11:12-14:

The next day as they were leaving Bethany, Jesus was hungry. Seeing in the distance a fig tree in leaf, he went to find out if it had any fruit. When he reached it, he found nothing but leaves, because it was not the season for figs. Then he said to the tree, “May no one ever eat fruit from you again.” And his disciples heard him say it.

Again, anyone with common sense would realize that Jesus is an unbelievable jerk: “The son of God is hungry. He approaches a fig tree. The tree is out of season and has no fruit. Jesus wants fruit. So he kills the tree. What a total jerk! Why didn’t he wave his all-powerful hand and cause figs to appear? Or how about borrowing a raisin from someone and turning it into a 5,000 baskets of figs? Only a true jerk would kill something out of spite.”

Or try one of the most famous stories in the Bible – Genesis 6:5-7:

5 The LORD saw how great man’s wickedness on the earth had become, and that every inclination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil all the time. 6 The LORD was grieved that he had made man on the earth, and his heart was filled with pain. 7 So the LORD said, “I will wipe mankind, whom I have created, from the face of the earth—men and animals, and creatures that move along the ground, and birds of the air—for I am grieved that I have made them.”

In this section we learn that God is an insane demon, willing to murder millions of people (and animals) because He made a mistake. Anyone with common sense would immediately understand that the Bible is a book of myth (since this flood never happened), and that the mythology surrounding “God” portrays him to be a lunatic, violent beyond belief, unable to control his emotions, and a bumbling fool.

Next you might look at all the parts of the Bible where God tells his followers to kill people, even though in the Ten Commandments God commands, “Thou shalt not kill”. For example:

- Exodus 31:15 – “For six days, work is to be done, but the seventh day is a Sabbath of rest, holy to the LORD. Whoever does any work on the Sabbath day must be put to death.”

- Deuteronomy 13:6-9 – “If your very own brother, or your son or daughter, or the wife you love, or your closest friend secretly entices you, saying, “Let us go and worship other gods”, do not yield to him or listen to him. Show him no pity. Do not spare him or shield him. You must certainly put him to death.”

- Leviticus 20:10 – “If a man commits adultery with another man’s wife—with the wife of his neighbor—both the adulterer and the adulteress must be put to death.”

- Deuteronomy 21:18-21 – “If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who does not obey his father and mother and will not listen to them when they discipline him… then all the men of his town shall stone him to death.”

There are many other sections like this. Anyone with common sense who reads these passages would again see that “God” is an insane lunatic. Surely God would find more creative and compassionate solutions to these problems besides murder. Or God, being “all-powerful,” would kill the offenders himself if He were real.

If you are a Christian, please read the Bible. Anyone who has common sense can see that the Bible, and the religion it supposedly portrays, are ridiculous travesties worthy of quick dismissal.

If you would like to learn more about Bible idiocy, please visit:

- Whywontgodhealamputees.com

2 Responses to “Billy Graham explains how to read the Bible”

  1. on 22 Sep 2008 at 1:37 pm 1.PSR said …

    10 more:

    http://articlesofreason.blogspot.com/2006/12/top-ten-bible-verses-youll-never-hear.html

  2. on 08 Oct 2008 at 8:59 am 2.Serge Ragonnaud said …

    Videos Billy Graham’s sermons in France at Paris Bercy in 1986 on: http://evangelistsergeragonnaud.blogspot.com/

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